SHHHH… I WANT TO GET MARRIED…DON’T TELL ANYONE
My friend and I were at a posh little Santa Monica restaurant eating key lime pie and talking about the male species. As we’re talking, we’re laughing, being loud and boisterous. We guffawed about sex and the many places one can have it.
The conversation goes on and on and eventually my friend says to me, “I really want to get married.” And I said, “Me too.”
Those are fine and dandy statements except for by the time we got to talking about marriage, we were slouched low in our chairs, leaning into each other, eyes darting back and forth and whispering as if we were talking about our next CIA mission. So while it seemed we had no problem yelling about getting it on in the backyard, the thought of anyone hearing us talk about marriage was an unacceptable, embarrassing, little secret.
We weren’t just afraid of the men in the restaurant hearing and causing a “single male” pandemonium in the street. We were also afraid of women hearing and thinking we were desperate, weenyheads.
On the one hand, my experience of marriage is: You should be married by now.
On the other hand, it’s: You should be fine alone. You’re a strong, independent woman and do not need a man.
And…I’m not living like this ANYMORE!
I’m not hiding out from wanting to be married and wanting to be in a partnership. I am not going to be embarrassed any more about being single. I am where I am and I know what I want in my life and I WANT TO GET MARRIED! I want a partnership and I don’t think wanting/ needing a man in my life makes me any less of a strong, independent woman. Being able to love fully and unconditionally is completely courageous and takes lots of cojones. When I look at it this way, wanting to be married MAKES me an even stronger woman and creates the possibility for me to fulfill who I want to be as a woman.
And for anyone in the restaurant that day, I’ll be sure to tone down the sex talk the next time. I think the key lime pie got a little freaked out.
Thanks very good \o/